dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
