I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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