ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize