I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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