The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
