I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
