i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
