after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
