My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
