i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
