best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
