so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
false alarm, still single
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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