i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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