This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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