I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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