If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
