the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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