chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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