Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
