Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize