he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
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