Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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