Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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