so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
