just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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