I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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