Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize