He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
