Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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