i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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