haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
