Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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