lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
