i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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