Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
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