yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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