Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
