So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
