Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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