I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
