I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
