what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize