Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
