My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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