So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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