I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
