I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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