No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
