come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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