Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize