Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
