I hope mine doesn't look like that
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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