Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
