that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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