You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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