I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
