Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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