it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
