he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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