everyone is single if you try hard enough
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
