"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
