Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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