24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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