Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
