Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
