She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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