You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
