Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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